Wedding Dress
by leyton-is-lovee
Summary: He stood at the altar today and watched as the girl of his dreams walked down the aisle. She walked up the steps and smiled nervously. He listened as she recited vows, and made promises, and said ‘I do’ . . . all to another man. LPish


**I own nothing, not even "Wedding Dress" by Matt Nathanson.**

Absolutely love him. Song is amazing, but I wasn't too sure how to interpret it. I hope I got close enough.

Some things to know; circa season 3. Peyton leaves for Savannah and doesn't come back – therefore none of her story lines happen. I guess that's the only different thing. Everything else happens. Naley wedding and car crash. Lucas and Brooke break up. Karen and Haley get pregnant. Dan confesses to the murder. Brooke makes C over B into a huge corporation, Nathan misses the NBA, and Haley's a teacher.

One big thing; Ravens was never written! BUT The Comet was.

Enjoy!

* * *

_So we lie here in the dark  
All the wrong things on fire  
In sickness and in health  
To be with you, just to be with you_

They shouldn't be here.

Their breathing is ragged. It's about 85 degrees. They can't see two inches in front of their faces. Her curls are frizzy from the humidity and his face is flushed from the heat. He can make out her collar bone and he feels his pulse raise as her chest compresses with her heaving breaths. They're in a small hall room closet.

They shouldn't be here.

It's been 6 years since she's been in contact with him. She doesn't know what it is about this blonde boy, but they always find themselves in precarious situations. They're standing about a foot apart, but she can smell his mouthwash. She places her left hand over the exposed skin of her chest. The action causes Lucas to notice her ring. Tonight is her engagement party.

They _really_ shouldn't be here.

She doesn't know how long it's been and that makes her feel like it's been too long. She knows that when she left the table it was 8 o'clock. Lucas followed exactly 5 minutes after, of that she's certain. She's pretty sure that he's got cell phone in his pocket, but she doesn't dare ask him to check. It'll confirm that it's been too long.

They shouldn't be here.

"I've missed you", she whispers brazenly. By now their eyes have adjusted to the darkness and she can see him smile. His hands are warm and probably a little sweaty, but when he cups her cheeks she sighs in contentment.

"I've missed _you_", he stresses. She knows it shouldn't, but his touch causes every nerve in her body to freak out and her own body heat rises.

They really shouldn't be here.

Neither of them speak after that because honestly what is there to follow up with? She can feel a thin layer of sweat across her collar bone. She's sure Lucas is dying in his suit. Regardless, she puts her hands on his wrists and he closes his eyes. The feel of her skin on his nearly sends him to tears.

He doesn't know if she's moving on her own accord or if he's physically pulling her towards him, but soon enough her lips are a hairsbreadth away from his. Before their lips meet his nose nuzzles hers; something he always did before their kisses in junior year. That seems to snap her back to reality because she pushes his hands off her face and whispers;

"Jake", Lucas lets out a breath of air and runs a hand over his face. "He's a good man, Lucas", she continues to whisper. For some reason she feels herself getting angry. She and the blonde before her haven't spoken in 6 years and the second he comes back into her life, the world spins on a different axis.

"He's never hurt me", she sneers out. Lucas reels back before recovering from the anger of her words.

"Except for when he left you?" he pauses to watch as her eyes fall to the ground. "Twice?"

"Both times were to protect his _daughter_", she barks out louder then she should have. She stops to look around her; as if they were in a room full of people. "And he came back."

"_Because_ I called him!" he says incredulously. She shoots him a glare and he regrets having raised his voice. They're still in the closet.

They shouldn't be here.

But neither of them has made a move for the door.

"He would have come back regardless. Besides, he didn't leave me to have sex with my best friend", she says harshly. Lucas sucks in a breath and nods his head. The reason behind her anger comes to the surface. He just wants to reach out and hold her again because that makes everything feel better.

"Peyton!"

The voice that speaks the curly blondes name isn't masculine. It's loud and raspy and coming from outside. Peyton sucks in a breath and Lucas clamps a hand over her mouth. They cannot be found in here together, Brooke definitely can't be the one to discover them.

After Peyton left and Brooke found out that her best friend and boyfriend had shared yet another kiss, she was furious. She and Lucas broke up the night of Haley and Nathan's wedding and she froze him out of her life. While she and Peyton were able to patch their friendship back together, he and Brooke weren't as lucky. They were friends, but not anything like they could have been. He broke her heart too many times.

Seemingly for no reason now.

"I've been gone for too long", she whispers from behind his rough hand. He nods and drags his hand down her face before resting it on her hip.

"Did you read it?" he asks suddenly. She pauses halfway between his arms and the door and looks at him. She knows exactly what he's talking about and she hates him for it.

She hates that he's doing this tonight. She hates that he's been pulling shit like this since she's known him. She hates that he thinks its okay.

And she hates that she looks forward to it.

"Yes, I did."

She also hates that she adds fuel to their ever burning fire.

"It's about you", he says boldly; not caring that he definitely shouldn't be saying these things. Not caring that she's engaged. "You're the comet . . . my comet."

"Lu –"

"I've waited for you to come back, but I realize now that it was stupid of me to wait. I should have gone out and found you. I should have fought for you!"

"Stop!" she demands and he's rendered speechless. She angry and bordering on tears and the last thing he wants to do it make her cry. "Just stop it", she begs.

"You need to let me go", she whispers and she means it in so much more then just the physical sense.

Her name gets called again and Peyton's eyes stare at the door. The last thing either of them need is to get caught in this situation. Lucas's hand is wrapped around her wrist and Peyton's got tears in her eyes that are begging to fall down her red cheeks. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure things out.

They shouldn't be here.

And with that profound thought running through Peyton's head for the millionth time since Lucas entered this closet, she wiggles her wrist from his grip. He doesn't let go. Peyton stomps her high heeled foot and he hears her whimper. He's making this so much harder.

She walks to the door and turns the knob, but Lucas still doesn't release her. On their subconscious levels they both know she could easily break her arm out of his hold, but she seems Hell bent on making him out to be the only one emotionally invested in this.

She pulls the door open – she heard Brooke walk past a few minutes ago – and steps one foot into the brightly lit hallway. Lucas stays in the darkness of the closet and her arm drags behind her for a bit, until she yanks it from his clammy hand. Even after she's gone and the door has closed behind her, Lucas feels her wrist in his. Like some kind of phantom limb.

And he realizes that he'll never be able to let her go.

_And in your wedding dress  
To have and to hold  
Even at my best  
I wanna let go_

He's the best man.

It's been 8 months since the engagement dinner and he hasn't spoke to Peyton. Everyone else talked with her and he himself has talked with Jake on numerous occasions, but not one word has passed between either blonde. Somewhere in his conversations with Jake, he was asked to be the best man.

Lucas had responded without hesitation – partially because he wasn't listening – mostly because he didn't want there to be any opportunity's for suspicion. So here he sits, in a hall in Tree Hill. At a semi long table with his ex-girlfriend on the opposite end and the happy couple between them. It's awkward and it's ironic and he's sure he'd laugh. If this wasn't his life.

He stood at the altar today and watched as the girl of his dreams walked down the aisle. Her father cradled her arm in his and when they reached the end he turned to her and smiled. She walked up the steps and smiled nervously. He listened as she recited vows, and made promises, and said 'I do' . . . all to another man.

He's the best man.

Jake's her husband.

He sips his champagne and his blue eyes glance around the room. Lily and Jamie dance on the floor in the adorable way most six year olds do. His mother and Andy are dancing close by and they laugh at the moves his younger sister and godson have.

What takes him by surprise – although it shouldn't by now – is his brother and best friend doing their best to dance along to the music. He's using a cane now and he's chopped off his long hair, he's shaved too. When Peyton came to Tree Hill a few months ago after years of being away, the first place she went was Nathan and Haley's house. Nobody knows what she did or said to the brunette Scott, but when Haley got home from work that day he was in the pool doing some rehab.

When that song ends another one begins and with the cheers of all the guests, the married couple takes to the floor. Lucas watches and down another glass of bubbly liquid in the process. A song starts and Jake places his arms around Peyton's body while hers lock around his neck.

They talk quietly and laugh softly and then Peyton turns a shade of red and Jake simply chuckles some more. It isn't fair, Lucas muses. She's beautiful, and smart, and funny, and God she's beautiful. The one of a kind Clothes over Bros dress hangs from her body perfectly and it sways at the bottom as she moves to the melody. She's selfless and compassionate and has such a huge heart. And now she's someone's wife.

He's just the best man.

Lucas thinks back to a time in his life when it wasn't so absurd to consider a future with her. She was the first girl he ever felt so strongly for and honestly, she's the only girl he can still see himself giving a cherished ring to.

Sure they were sneaking around and nobody knew about their relationship, but that was fine because they got to be together. That was all they wanted, all they needed. Just the other person to hold and kiss and whisper to. Then he screwed up and he watched her walk out of his life.

He's tried to erase her from his mind. He dated Brooke again after that and once she dumped him he tried to get her back. He did his best to forget the then straight haired blonde. When college started and his book was published he even slept with his editor a few times – that didn't help.

He's a coach now, for the Ravens and that leaves him with a lot of time in the high school. Which leaves him a lot of time to walk around. The blood that was on the carpet has been replaced and that set of shelves isn't even there anymore, but when he's feeling particularly low he goes into that old library that used to be filled with a ton of memories of her and him and them. But now only one stands out.

He can still feel their last kiss on his lips. It was years ago, but he closes his eyes and lets his mind wander and it was yesterday. The tears on her cheeks and the shallow breaths she took. The gentle way she told him she loved him and then made a joke out of it.

He feels a surge of bravery, and utter honesty, and the five glasses of champagne flowing through his veins and before he can stop himself he mouths;

"I love you."

Peyton lets out a small gasp. Lucas's words don't shock her too much, it's the fact that he's said mouthed them at the exact same time Jake's said them. It's like hearing them straight from the blonde mouth, but his voice is deeper and his eyes aren't blue.

"I love you too", she whispers and she means it. But it'd be a lot more convincing if she was looking at Jake while she said it. Instead, she's staring past her brunette husband.

Lucas has to leave the room.

_And you hold me in your arms  
And all that I can see  
Is my future in your hands  
And all that I can feel  
Is how long ever after is  
And it's all that I can do  
To be with you, just to be with you  
_

He talks to his mother about mindless things that don't even matter, from across the room. From the corner of his eye he can see the new family as they happily laugh at the table. Jake has Jenny on his lap and she's delicately fingering Peyton's blonde curls. Peyton does the same to Jenny.

It warms his heart and breaks it at the same time.

Jake meets his eyes and the sandy haired man waves him over. Lucas excuses himself and heads over to the table. Jenny scurries from her fathers lap and runs over to Lily and Jamie and some other children that play in the corner.

"What's up guys?" Lucas asks even though he doesn't look at Peyton. She bows her head and looks off to the side.

"I promised Brooke a dance", he says as he nods to the brunette as she talks to Haley. Lucas nods. "I don't want to leave my wife over here on her own", by now both blondes know what Jakes getting at and in a desperate attempt to relieve them both, Peyton says;

"I'm sure I can figure out something", Jake leans over and kisses her temple. He shakes his head and glances at Lucas. His best man.

"Since I'm dancing with the maid of honor, I think you should dance with the bride."

The word bride hits Lucas like a ton of bricks. Obviously he knows she's just gotten married, but the fact that she's someone else's bride. She's someone else's wife. It literally tears at his heart.

"Ja –"

"Why not", Lucas says with a smile as he holds his arms out. Peyton closes her eyes and runs her hand through her hair.

"Great", Jake smiles and kisses Peyton one last time before standing. "I'll see you out there", he says with a wink and then he walks away.

"May I have this dance?' Lucas asks politely. He extends his arm and holds his somewhat shaky hand out to Peyton. She opens her eyes and stares from his hand to his face. She remembers the appearance she has to keep up.

She takes his hand and lets him guide her to the large wooden floor. "You don't have to do this", she whispers while there's still enough room between them to make a dash for the door.

"I know", Lucas says and pulls her close. So close that a string couldn't fit between them. His hand rests on her hip and hers lies atop his broad shoulder. He intertwines their fingers and hangs their hands in the air. The music starts and he leans down to whisper;

"But I want to."

She sways in sync with him; the music floods her veins. She catches eyes with the couple dancing a few feet away and while Jake smiles deliriously, Brooke makes a face of concern and maybe there's a bit of sorrow in her eyes. Peyton can't really tell.

Lucas is too caught up in the moment to notice anything other then the woman in his arms. He's done his best to push aside his feelings – except for the declarations of his love earlier. He closes his eyes and rests his cheek against her curls. This is their wedding day and their dance as man and wife. He in his tux and she in her white dress. And it's perfect.

"If only you were a few years early", she whispers so softly she doesn't even realize she's said it until Lucas's muscles tense.

"Nobody would tell me", he admits softly. "They all said that you were happy and that's all I needed to know. At least they were right", he laughs, but it's empty.

They're silent after that and they both think that this is the longest song ever. She glimpses at Nathan and Haley as the married couple stare that them from their table. She knows the look they're giving her isn't meant to break her down, but it's doing just that.

She looks back up at Lucas and watches as his brows furrow and his eyes squint. It's probably not the best time, but she cracks a soft smile. "Where's your head at?"

"I'm starting to realize how long forever is", he says softly. Her eyes fall and she lets out a breath of air. Lucas's guilt hits him and he pulls her a little closer.

"I'm sorry", he whispers. "This isn't fair of me, but I can't really help it", he confesses.

Her grip on his hand tightens just a little bit more. She knows where he's coming from because if this was four or five . . . even a year ago, she would have been with him. Now she has too much to lose. Too many hearts are involved and she can't risk that.

Even if it means her happiness.

"It's just that, I haven't seen you in _years_, Peyton. And the second I do, all the feelings I've denied come _rushing_ back and I just _couldn't_ help it."

She nods because she knows that feeling, but unlike him, she knows how to bury it and how to push it all aside. Except when she's on the brink of death. The library kiss might not have been her shining moment, but she couldn't die without Lucas knowing how she felt. Then there was the party in the school and by the time her leg healed, she was too upset and lost to keep up a façade.

She's sure a part of her – small or large – will always love him. She's the first boy she ever wholeheartedly fell in love with. That's a pretty big deal.

She opens her mouth to say something. Lucas's pulse races and he's waiting with baited breath for her words. The second she takes a breath, Jake comes over.

"Can I cut in?" he asks with a smile. Brooke's at his side and he's staring at Peyton solely. Lucas wants to say no and tell him to come back later, but he can't do that. So, he smiles and nods and hands Peyton off as Brooke floats to his side.

Lucas watches as Peyton drifts away.

_In your wedding dress  
To have and to hold  
And even at my best  
I wanna let go_

"Getting drunk is gonna help you forget for now, but when you wake up tomorrow and remember this . . . it'll all hurt the same."

Lucas doesn't life his head to stare at his former girlfriend. He stares at the small glass and swirls the amber liquid around. The whirlpool effect mesmerizes him.

Brooke lets out a sigh before opening her mouth; "Luk –"

"I lied to you", he cuts her off. He turns his head to look at her and once he sees the questioning in her eyes, he laments; "The Sparkle Classic our senior year . . . I told you I slept on the floor. I didn't."

Brooke bows her head and takes a sip of her drink. High school may have been a long time ago and she's over Lucas, but it still hurts to know she was lied to. That she was right. They both change positions so that they're facing each other, but can see the crowd; so it doesn't look like they're having such an intimate conversation and he continues;

"I slept right next to her and I held back her hair when she threw up."

"Lucas, that was a long time ago", she whispers. But it's like he doesn't hear her;

"And now she's a wife. Someone's wife", he stops to down the rest of drink before motioning for another. "And she's wearing a gorgeous dress", he says while eyeing her pointedly. Brooke huffs.

"Well, first of all thanks", she says in her typical Brooke Davis way, "Second of all, she's my best friend! What was I supposed to do? Put itching powder in it?"

"It wouldn't have hurt. You know how superstitious she is", and then he realizes how ridiculous he sounds and he shakes his head while he laughs.

"I'm trying so hard to be the good guy here. I swear", he mutters.

Brooke sips her cocktail and watches as Jenny and Peyton dance. The older blonde spins her around on the floor and the little girl giggles with glee. The brunette remembers the few parties she went to with the Sawyer's before Anna passed away and she was always the slightest bit jealous when mother and daughter would dance. But then Anna would call her over.

"Where is all this coming from, Luke?" she asks.

The blonde beside her shrugs. "She's everything I've ever wanted. I've denied it for so long and I've spent so many years ignoring it. Seeing her caused it all to rush back like the floodgates opened. She's all I've ever wanted, but she's not mine to want anymore."

Silence lingers between them once again and Lucas worries that he's said too much. He knows Brooke's moved on; she's dating some movie producer in New York, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hit a nerve to talk about the past.

"You know what?" Brooke says and Lucas closes his eyes; he's sure she's going to rip him a new one. "We need to get drunk", his eyes snap open and he looks at her.

"You said I shouldn't drink", he points out with a shadow of a smirk. Brooke rolls her eyes.

"Right, but this is an open bar and it's okay to forget for a while", she whispers. "I think we need to get drunk; really, really _good_ and drunk", she motions to the bartender. Two shots are placed in front of them and Brooke tips hers in his direction.

"Here's to forgetting."

Lucas picks out his glass and glances at Peyton. She's dancing with her father now and he's never seen a bigger smile on her face. He looks back at Brooke and clinks their glasses together;

"To forgetting."

The second his empty glass hits the wooden bar-top Brooke orders two more.

_Thought I'd lost you  
Thought I'd lost you  
I gave you away  
Thought I'd lost you  
I'm jealous of the moon  
For how it moves the waves_

He feels the hallway spin and knows all those shots weren't a good idea. Brooke's got a leg up on him since she lives in New York and frequents the nightclubs. He still lives in Tree Hill and rarely drinks twice a week.

His search for the coat closet has been difficult. There are a lot more doors then he ever expected. He wants to go outside to clear his head and hopefully sober himself up. It's winter though, and he desperately needs his jacket. He opens the fourth door since his journey began and hears a gasp.

Peyton leans against the back wall with her hands atop her head. He would close the door and keep walking, but this is the coat closet. The second he steps foot into the small room and the door closes behind him; he knows he should have left her.

They shouldn't be here.

"We've got to stop meeting like this", she jokes in an attempt to break the tension in the air. But all he can think of is that night in senior year. He told her loved her only to follow up with how much he loved her best friend. History always seems to follow them.

He shakes his head and walks forward, but stumbles and has to grab onto the metal bar above him for leverage. Peyton rushes to his side and helps to steady him. When she's that close she can smell the liquor on his breath. She saw him drinking with Brooke, but she never thought he'd get this bad.

"You're drunk", she whispers painfully.

He closes his eyes when she raises her hand and brushes some of the hair near his forehead. His hand goes to her hip and it's like his touch burns her skin through the material of her dress. He opens his eyes and blue meet green through the darkness.

"You're married", he says simply.

Peyton's hand trails down his face and she stops to cup his cheek. He leans into her touch, but they both choose to think it's because he's so unstable on his feet. It's not, but denial is an old friend.

"I didn't want this for you", tears cloud her eyes and Lucas's jaw clenches. He hates seeing her cry, but in his drunken haze he can't muster up enough compassion to give a damn.

"Yeah well, you can't always get what you want", he grumbles and pulls himself from her touch. He can't be in here any longer. He completely disregards his want for a jacket and makes a beeline for the door.

Her voice stops him. It's soft and desperate and begging him not to leave her; not like this. He runs his hand over his face and feels himself beginning to sober up.

"What do you want from me, Peyton?" he asks in distress as he stalks towards her. "I'm here; I handed Jake the ring you're wearing, I made a speech, and I danced with you!" he says harshly. "What more could you want from me?"

She flinches every time he speaks because she wasn't prepared for the anger in his words. It's just now that she realizes how much all of this is hurting him and she wants to take it away. She wants to hold him and make it all better.

But she knows she can't.

"Lucas –"

"I've done my best at acting indifferent and happy and I can't take it anymore! I can't take it", he whispers before the breakdown. Contrary to her earlier thoughts and feelings, she pulls him into her arms and holds him tightly against her.

He buries his face into the crook of her neck and breathes in her scent. It's a little different from what she used to smell like. She smells like coconuts and a hint of vanilla. He wonders if Jake prefers the coconut to the lavender. The image of the brunette man causes Lucas to push Peyton away softly and pinch the bridge of his nose.

"I want you to promise me that you'll be okay", she says as she holds his face in her hands. He shakes his head.

"How can I do that when I've lost you?" he asks in a broken voice. Peyton shakes her head and lets out a small laugh; this silly, silly man.

"You haven't lost me, Lucas", she whispers. "I'm right here", she says and places her hand over his heart. In a test of personal strength he lifts his hands and lays it flat against the left side of her chest.

He feels the rapid thump of her heart.

"And you're there", she whispers. To this he shakes his head.

"Jake's –"

"Jake's there", she doesn't argue. "But there's this part of my heart that's never going to be his. And that's special and important to me because it's yours. You're the only one who'll ever occupy it and that means the world to me."

It's in this quiet, hidden moment that she gives him what he needed. The silent knowledge that he'll always own a piece of her. And that she's okay with it.

And he knows he'll never love another more then in this moment.

_In your wedding dress  
To have and to hold  
Even at my best  
I wanna let go_

The night continues and everyone laughs and drinks and celebrates the union of their two friends. Peyton stands on the balcony and looks up at the stars. The night sky has always given her a comfort that she's sure she'll never tell anyone.

Back when she first moved to Savannah she would stay up late and sneak out onto the porch with a blanket and a mug of hot chocolate. She'd look up at the stars and the moon and feel home. Somewhere in her mind, Lucas was doing something similar and they were staring up at the same night sky at the same shining star even though they were miles – worlds – apart.

She hums a little tune to a song she can't remember the name of. She does remember singing it and listening to it and knowing exactly who it made her think of.

"The stars are crying for what we could have had", she whispers so softly that she's sure nobody else would have heard it.

The wind blows and she shivers at the chill the wind sends. When a warm jacket envelops her she tilts her head and smiles. Nathan Scott has become quite the gentleman.

"Thanks", she whispers. He waves her off with his free hand, his other one drags his cane across the concrete. They stand out there in the cold, looking at the stars for a long while before Nathan speaks;

"You read the book?"

She nods slowly. "Yes I have."

"You know certain parts by heart, don't you?" there's a teasing tone to his voice, but Peyton knows he's trying to figure things out. She lets out a breath and finds herself nodding.

"The boy saw a comet . . ."

It's silent again after that because her words speak a million different things. All the answers to any questions he could have are sure to be answered. Or so she thinks.

"After you left and things went to Hell, Haley thought about calling you and asking you to come back", he whispers. "Brooke was upset and I was closed off. Haley was emotional and dealing with the pregnancy on her own and . . . Lucas was kind of a mess. She told me she was thinking about calling your cell, but I told her not to", he admits.

Peyton stares at him as the words wash over her. Things would have been so very different if Haley had called. Or would they? Peyton was convinced that she loved Jake, would she have left him? Would she have returned to the town that broke her? To the boy that broke her heart?

Absolutely.

"Nate –"

"Tell me I did the right thing", he begs as he turns to look at her. "It would have been stress and pressure and anxiety that you didn't need. And you were happy. You _are_ happy. Right?" he asks.

She turns and catches a glimpse of Lucas sitting at the children's table. Lily's on his lap and Jenny and Jamie are on either side. He's doing something that has them all laughing hysterically and it makes Peyton chuckle. Jake walks over and picks Jenny up out of her chair; the little girl squeals. He sits in her chair and places his daughter on his lap. The two men sit with the three children and continue to joke.

She looks back at Nathan and musters up a smile. There is a lot she could say and probably a lot she should say, but she doesn't. She nods her head and looks back up at the stars.

"I'm happy."

He doesn't know if he should, but he believes her.

_And I wanna be somebody else now  
And I wanna thicken my skin  
And I wanna wish it all  
Just wish it all away again, again, again  
_

Lucas watches as she runs down the long walkway with her new husband on her arm. They're off to a hotel for the night and the honeymoon tomorrow. Everyone's got a fistful of flower petals in their hands and as the couple passes, they're thrown into the air.

He's never wanted to be further from a moment then right now. He wishes he was stronger and tougher and had a better poker face. Everyone's questioned him about tonight and it hasn't been easy to lie; even when they all knew it.

He throws his flowers into the air and when he does Peyton looks at him. She smiles – that soft smile that's reserved for him only – and he smiles back. She's happy and Jake's a good man. And there's that saying; if you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, you know it's meant to be. Well, Peyton isn't going to come back to him, of that he's certain.

But he knows they're mean to be.

He places his hand over his heart and when Peyton discreetly does the same he feels lighter. Like he could fly or walk on water. That's what she does to him. She gives him the power to believe in anything. God, and love, and art are at the top of the list.

Peyton climbs into the limo and sends out one last wave. Jake starts to climb in next, but he stops when he looks at Lucas. It's not cruel or mocking, it's grateful. Jake's grateful that Lucas was willing to step up and be his best man and he's grateful that he was willing to back down and let Peyton choose on her own.

He's no fool. He's seen the countless copies of a certain book she collects. They fill a shelf in the living room and she carries one around in her purse. She downloaded a version off iTunes and listens to it in her spare time and when she draws. He's no fool. But he's in love with Peyton Sawyer.

So he'll take what he can get.

Lucas watches Jake get into the limo and then they take off into the evening together. Husband and wife. Together forever. Till death do they part. He shakes his head and walks back into the hall.

He doesn't go into the main ballroom; instead he heads to the coat room. Most people have left by now so it's less likely that he'll be caught. The door closes behind him and he lets the darkness consume him. he closes his eyes and her voice floods his ears while her touch burns his skin and her smell fills his nostrils.

It's all that he has left.

_And I wanna be somebody else now  
I wanna be holding you in  
I wanna be missing you lots, missing you lots  
You're all that I have left_

* * *

Let me know what you think!


End file.
